As a daughter, and mother I am the sum of these women.
My birth mother and maternal grandmother.
Here I am with the young women who made me a Mom. In fact Stefani, she's in the reddish sweater, made me a mom 32 years ago just before Mother's Day. This picture was taken last weekend when we were all together which doesn't happen very often.
As an adopted child I think about my birth mother, who I lovingly call Mama, every year on Mother's Day, actually daily. Especially, since reconnecting with my sisters and learning that she has passed.
If you aren't familiar with my story, she was just 14 when she was raped and became pregnant with me. As a child I had a romantic notion that she was in love with her boyfriend, they made a mistake and had sex and she got pregnant. My romanticizing went further believing they'd married, lived in a big house, had children of their own and were looking for me.
The song really says exactly how I feel about my birth mother. She saved me from the death my maternal grandmother wanted. She not only gave me life she did the most selfless and loving thing possible by giving my parents the gift of a child creating a family. As a mother I couldn't imagine how difficult it had to be for a young teenage girl to give a baby she'd just carried and felt move inside of her to strangers to care for.
And my mom took responsibility and care for a child whose familial background she knew very little about. Even with a private adoption, there was so much information not shared in the 60's.
Both of my mother's made me who I am today. While I mainly got my genetics from Angelina, I also received a strong personality. Knowing how I was conceived and how on my birthday every year she celebrated with my sisters has influenced who I am. When you know that your mother made a decision to carry, love, and give you the gift of family when someone was wanting a family doctor to abort you, your birth takes on a whole new meaning.
My mom made me who I am. She taught me morals, how to read at 3, about Jesus who has been my Savior since I was ten. Each of these women had a lot, and I mean a lot to do with who I am. I am thankful for and love both of them, and so, today on a day when we honor our mother's I honor and celebrate what they both have given to make me who I am today. No one else but my Mom and Angelina could have made me, me.
I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I'm sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Lonely and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried
But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me
And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And I hope that you'd be proud of who I am
You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me
And when I see you there
Watching from heaven's gates
Into your arms
I'm gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was
And who I've become
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me.
Copyright Mark Schultz
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