Ten years ago, boy it doesn't seem like it has been that long ago, I found out that my daughter is gay. It happened through a process of elimination and then her actually saying it out loud. There were tears, angry, hurtful words and distance, oh the distance. At that time I was not mentally, or emotionally healthy so hearing the words I'm gay coming from my beautiful seventeen year old daughter sent me into a tailspin. What I saw was a huge letter G on her, I don't know if I even saw her at that point. I was also worried more than I should've been, what will my parents think and say, what will our friends at church say, what will everyone think?
I didn't take time to find out how she felt, what she was thinking and I hate that I didn't stop to think about her, the loneliness, and fear that she must have felt.
If I could go back in time and tell my 40 year old self what I know now, it would be . . .
Breathe! This isn't a death sentence, her dreams are just starting, it's your dreams for her that have you upset. Take time to talk to her, find out how she is feeling, what she is thinking. Don't assume you know, and don't take her behavior personally. Also, give lots of hugs, even if she pushes you away, do it anyway.
I am very thankful and blessed that now ten years later my daughter and I are closer than ever. I see every part of her, not just the one slice that is gay. She is loving, artistic, fights for injustice, cares about others, and is smart!
I have a burden that there may be other mom's who may be going through what I did ten years ago and if by sharing what I went through helps another mother and daughter then what we went through all those years ago will be worth it.