Love means different things to each of us based on how we were raised, our life experiences and our love language. My love language is words of encouragement. My husband's is words of encouragement and acts of service. This is not only how he gives love it is also he feels loved.
I haven't read 50 Shades, I started book one and forgetting the abuse, and porn in the book, the writing was atrocious and I just couldn't read any more. With that said, I am really surprised at the fascination of this book. Reviews I've read, and conversation I've heard regarding the book makes me shake my head in confusion.
As a young teen I was violated by a man in my church, yes you read right, a man I went to church with. My former husband was a controller, and verbally abusive. He wanted me to do some of the things that are described in this book, the BDSM, he said it would spice up our sex life. My sister laid into him one day and said, how can you even ask that of her knowing what happened to her when she was a teen? He really didn't have an answer other than to say that I should be over it by now. I had dealt with it, I sure didn't want to do something with my husband who I loved that would bring back memories of that horrible day.
Putting all of that aside . . . Love isn't controlling, it isn't abusive, or painful. Love is kind, gentle, and patient. And the only contract is the marriage contract.
Regardless of your belief system God created Love, and Love is . . . .
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;